funny quotes

To often, we lose sight of lifes simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap that mother.... upside the head. Pass it on...

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America?s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn?t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon

Gravity is not to blame for two people falling in love

Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener

Here's to you and here's to me, and I hope we never disagree. But, if that should ever be, to HELL with you, here's to ME!

Don't question GOD, as he may say, if you are so eager for answers, then please come up.

The chances of bread falling buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet

Love is a passion, which never lasts longer

I remember a time when everybody I loved hated me because I hated them. - Letter to Stuart Sutcliffe circa 1960

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver

First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity

Getting Kicked in the nuts hurts alot more than delivering a baby